First Date Questions

The right first date questions are leading to interesting conversations. The wrong questions are leading to a superficial and boring conversation until it reaches a dead end. Try to learn more about your partner on a deeper emotional level.

Don’t just ask a stupid question to overcome the painful silence. Nothing is worse than asking one silly question after another. Your dating partner probably thinks that you are an idiot or that he will not be able to communicate with you effectively in the future.

The right questions can create sympathie between you and your dating partner and they can create a good atmosphere.

first date questions

Don’t ask questions about politics, economics or religion. Don’t talk about your future plans with your dating partner.
Just talk about interests and hobbies. Ask simple questions that can be answered easily and find out what your partner likes or not. You will invoke good feelings if you do this. Everybody likes to talk about his interests and hobbies. You should listen often and not talk all the time. It is very annoying if somebody talks in one go and you can’t bring a word in.

First Date Questions

What do you like most?
Do you like animals?
What’s your favorite movie (meal)?
Do you like tavelling?
To which countries have you travelled before?

However, don’t exaggerate. These questions just help you to overcome the silence and break the ice. Don’t become too personal. Keep things general. Just ask positive questions and avoid negative subjects that invoke bad memories and create bad feelings. Don’t ask questions about former relationships and why they broke up. Don’t mention your personal problems and hangups. Avoid problems of all kinds and just create a pleasant atmosphere. This will build up confidence for a possible next date with your partner.

You should not talk about sex.

Where to meet is important

Don’t meet at boring places. It is proven by Dr. Arthur Aron that if you meet at adventurous places this will increase your dating success. His research focuses on creating interpersonal closeness by asking certain questions as shown below leading to “sustained, escalating, reciprocal, personal self-disclosure.”

Dr. Aron’s First Date Questions

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

16. What do you value most in a friendship?

17. What is your most treasured memory?

18. What is your most terrible memory?

19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

20. What does friendship mean to you?

21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?

22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.

23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?

24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling … “

26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share … “

27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.

29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.

30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?

34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

Questions by Dr. Arthur Aron

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